Mississippi Testimony by Brandon Boulware

Delivered by Brandon Boulware (Source: ACLU)

 

Context:

I found myself crying at my computer in the middle of a busy workday when I came across this clip. The emotion surprised me.

Brandon Boulware, lawyer and father of four, came to speak to the House of Representatives, urging them to reject House Joint Resolution 53, which would ban trans girls from competing alongside cisgender girls in school sports. Unlike most bills on this issue, this resolution would write the ban into the state constitution.

 

Speech:

“My name is Brandon Boulware and chairman I’ll go as quickly as I can. I’m a lifelong Missourian. I’m a business lawyer. I’m a Christian. I’m the son of a Methodist minister. I’m a husband. I’m the father of four kids, two boys, two girls, including a wonderful and a beautiful transgender daughter.

Today happens to be her birthday. I chose to be here. She doesn’t know that. She thinks I’m at work.

One thing I often hear when transgender issues are discussed is, I don’t get it. I don’t understand. I would expect some of you to have said that and feel the same way.

I didn’t get it either for years. For years, I would not let my daughter wear girl clothes. I did not let her play with girl toys. I forced my daughter to wear boy clothes and get short haircuts and play on boys’ sports teams.

Why did I do this? To protect my child. I did not want my daughter or her siblings to get teased. Truth be told I did it to protect myself as well. I wanted to avoid those inevitable questions as to why my child did not look and act like a boy.

My child was miserable. I cannot overstate that she was absolutely miserable. Especially at school. No confidence, no friends, no laughter. I honestly say this, I had a child who did not smile. We did that for years. We did that against the advice of teachers, therapists, and other experts.

I remember the day everything changed for me. I’d gotten home from work and my daughter and her brother were on the front lawn. She had sneaked on one of her older sister’s play dresses and they wanted to go across the street and play with the neighbor’s kids.

It was time for dinner I said, ‘Come in.’ She asked can she go across the street. I said, ‘no.’ She asked me if she went inside and put on boy clothes, could she then go across the street and play.

It’s then that it hit me, that my daughter was equating being good with being someone else. I was teaching her to deny who she is. As a parent, the one thing we cannot do, the one thing is silence our child’s spirit. And so on that day my wife and I stopped silencing our child’s spirit. The moment we allowed my daughter to be who she is, to grow her hair, to wear the clothes she wanted to wear, she was a different child.

I mean it was immediate. It was a total transformation. I now have a confident, a smiling, a happy daughter. She plays on a girl’s volleyball team. She has friendships. She’s a kid.

I came here today as a parent to share my story. I need you to understand, that this language, if it becomes law, will have real effects on real people. It will affect my daughter. It will mean she cannot play on the girl’s volleyball team or dance squad or tennis team. I ask you please don’t take that away from my daughter or the countless others like her who are out there. Let them have their childhoods. Let them be who they are. I ask you to vote against this legislation.”

 

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